I used to think icebreakers were a good idea for getting people to talk at seminars. Sunday, the seminar my counterpart and I were giving for guardians of orphaned children got off to a rough and awkward start. There was such a mix of people; orphaned kids themselves in school uniforms, brothers and sisters who cared for them, aunts and uncles, and wrinkled grandparents embarassed to speak Swahili. I picked an icebreaker that seemed to be appropriate for all ages, but it was a complete flop. You had to choose an emotion and then act it out for others to guess. The most we got were two of the students standing up and looking ashamed. Then one of the attendees stood up and explained that it was a hard game because they were not prepared. And when I stood back and looked at it, the concept did seem unimportant and a little ridiculous, so we jumped right into the seminar.

The point of it is to make “Memory Books” for kids with information about their parents, families, ancestors, and themselves in their childhood. As Americans, we tend to think that kids in difficult situations need emotional support, and we see the Memory Book idea as a good way to help with self confidence. This seems to be a new concept in my village. They seemed more to see it as a good way to record information in case anything happened to them, the guardians.

At one point my counterpart was explaining to a 13-year-old orphan and her brother/guardian how to fill out a certain part of the book which asked for a list of important people in the girl’s life. The girl could read and write, but her brother couldn’t even sign his name. They both looked very scared and submissive. When asked who was important in her life, the girl said “My parents.” My counterpart just looked at her and said “They’re dead, choose someone else.” It occurred about 5 times in the course of their conversation that he reminded her of this unfortunate fact. I know the girl was aware that her parents were dead, but to me it seemed insensitive keep telling her. In this culture though, this bluntness is very prevalent and accepted.